There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
