just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
