im about as happy as oj after his trial
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
