I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.