the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Randomize
