these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
I met the friendliest cop last night
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Randomize
