She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I think people are normalizing furries
Randomize
