dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Randomize
