sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Let's paint friendship bongs
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
