I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
