We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
