Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
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I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
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