I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
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