I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I wish there were birth control emojis
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
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