she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
