Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Randomize
