He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
