he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
