just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Randomize
