alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
My bed smells like the plague
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