That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
tell me about the fingering
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
