Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Randomize