At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
