i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
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