I think my vagina is haunted
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Randomize
