She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
