I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
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