i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
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