Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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