I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
