As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
You took a bar mat shot.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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