I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
