it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize