But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
if i can run in heels then i can drive
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
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