dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
