Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize