Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Randomize
