The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
