I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
