pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Randomize
