u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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