I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
