Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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