i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize