Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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