i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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