Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize
