cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
