very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
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