I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize