Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
