school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
My breasts were aching with rage.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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