can u get pink eye on your cock?
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
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