Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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