Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
