she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
This is the high leading the old right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize