I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
im calling her cock vulture from now on
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
