Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
