Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
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