dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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