I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
