I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
