Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
