yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
